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The year 2019 ended with a coup, namely in Dresden, And the horrified Dresdeners even forgot about their stollen inspection event in the legendary Altmarkt gallery, where the stollen inspection committee decides (right next to Douglas) whether the Dresden Christstollen seal will be awarded to the tested Dresden stollen. Year of exams, come in and find out! hit deep in the deep valley of the homeless. Nah !, that's Berlin, that's where the rental bandits record returns … a year of coups, haphazard, planned economy 2019, east, west, Africa.

"I have a plan!" So Egon Olsen once spoke of the famous Danish Olsen gang. And the Olsen gang is one of the indicators, in other words: reasons ("the reason we tug on the strands / the reason we tug on the strands", Franz Fühmann) that Germany is still divided, even in the 30th anniversary of the so-called Peaceful Revolution. (Peaceful revolution, what is that supposed to be? Wasn't it rather reformation prayers, peaceful protests, expressions of hope? But revolutions … The Leipzig Festival of Lights, a single memorial and transfiguration folklore, November 2019, and we'll stay at home.)

"I have a plan!" So Egon spoke, and the whole of the East planned, thanks to the grandiose Defa dubbed versions, while the West was unsuspecting, in the deep valley, the Danish gentleman burglars were known there, but thanks to the bad rather than the right (aaaah! ) West German dubbed version never the everyday cultural asset that they were in the East. And thanks in part to the MDR ("That / is not a duck / we send until the Ossi pension!") Are still.

We have to introduce an Olsen gang equator, because in 19 West German, Olsen gang-unfamiliar agitators spread in the east or the east chose them. "I have no idea!" Or: complete the turn. Or: turn 2 commas 0. So we read it on election posters, in Saxony, Brandenburg, Thuringia. You got thrown up 3 times and 5 times each time, because you thought the Kalbitz was a bald joke, let me have a stork, and the Meuthen rush …

But cheers to the East German provinces, where the theaters and libraries resist. We don't want to be martial, resistance has burned down. We want peaceful expressions of hope and not too much pathos. Pathos, isn't that one of the three or four musketeers? No, that was Portos, but who looks through the yellow vests and haven't they turned yellow? Last Exit Bitterfeld, again and again, Paris, London. America is located in Saxony, near the small town of Penig, which in turn is not far from Chemnitz aka Karl-Marx-Stadt, but all these names hurt in the heart and in the year 19. "I have a plan!"

One of the stolen pieces of jewelry from the Green Vault in Dresden
© Jürgen Karpinski State Art Collections Dresden / bpk

"Huge, mighty, Egon!" This is Benny aka the great Morten Grunwald, who died in 2018, the last of the Olsen gang, but in the Green Vault in Dresden was stolen with brute force and not with the charm and genius of the carefully organized coups of the famous and resourceful gang, who always the Multinational corporations and the big shots a snip … But that's our time, we lost the elegance in the year 19, hammer hammer, net mobs, coalitions break up. Egon would have to put his stethoscope, with which he breaks safes, at the heart of social democracy, in the east Egon's hands reach deep into the void, SPD, that hurts (and not only in the east, the once close to the people halfway left).

But also the right left do stink (sorry for the German), except in Thuringia, where Björn also humps and spoils the wonderful Thuringian sausage. The original recipe (that of the bratwurst, not that of the big Gauland-Gaudi in the eastern Gauen) is in Erfurt and in Eisenhüttenstadt and in Dresden-Zwickau in a safe from the company Franz Jäger /Berlin, oh good old Olsen gang that you are long in heaven.

And with brute force (because that's 19 of the country's shape!) We smash showcases in the green vault, or are they the shocks of the wars? Citizen, strangler, world. A shot is fired and a dog barks.

And all of our plans are like chips, blown away. Rainforest, German forest, sometimes warm, sometimes cold. And in Lusatia ("There is no such thing as only Upper and / or Lower Lusatia! But not solo!") The pits, brown coal, and bottom of the valley are waiting, what is happening in the Wilhelm Pieck city of Guben? Still there, Egon? "I have a plan!"

And we don't have one. Like the Germans? And don't lose the world. Do not sweat, but freeze. Too late, too late, the wind is blowing hot from the east …

. (tagsToTranslate) culture (t) annual review (t) Dresden (t) Berlin (t) Saxony (t) Thuringia (t) Franz Fühmann (t) MDR (t) Brandenburg (t) Africa (t) Leipzig (t) Paris (t) London (t) Chemnitz (t) East Germany (t) Christa Wolf (t) AfD (t) Year in Review (t) Pension


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